What the Heart Wants
by MaryRussellgrl
Summary: Sara meets a man that could take her away from Grissom. Grissom sees that their marriage has hit a bump. (I know I said I would stop writing CSI for awhile. I was having a breakdown and lost interest, but it's really like eating one potato chip.)


I looked at my computer lost in thought as I waited for Grissom to appear. I looked down at the ring on my finger thinking about the man that tried to pick me up at work.

I was working as usual when I saw a man standing at the front desk getting a visitor tag to wear. He was wearing a black suit and carrying a brief case. He looked over seeing me staring at him and he smiled walking over.

"Maybe you can help me." He said

"I can try." I said

"I am looking for Doctor Langston."

"Oh, I know where his office is."

"Great."

I smiled leading him down the hallway.

"My name is John Bailey, by the way." He said

"Sara Sidle."

"What do you do here?" He asked

"I am a CSI."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm." I said, stopping motioning to the closed office door with Langston's name on it. "What do you do?"

"I work for the district attorney's office. They wanted a liaison between both departments." He said, going to the door but he stopped looking back at me. "Um Sara, I don't do this ever, but I was wondering if you might want to go out for dinner sometime?"

I looked at him a moment.

"I..ah…I am married." I said

"Oh, I am so sorry." He said

"No, it's okay."

He nodded turning knocking then he went inside. I stood there watching the door close.

Hours later I sat at the computer thinking about John Bailey. Tired, I decided to just write Grissom an email and go to bed. The next shift I was still thinking about the man I had just met. Grissom was busy and not able to call of talk to me by computer as much as he used to. What was wrong with a dinner?

The next night I took the evening off to join John for dinner at a nice restaurant. He looked at me across the table after we ordered. I looked around then I looked at him.

"You look amazing." He said

"Thank's." I said

"So why isn't your husband taking you out?"

"He lives in Paris." I said, before sipping from a glass of wine.

"Separated?"

"No, he lectures there. We talk by computer every night."

"Oh."

"What about you?" I asked, as I set the glass down.

"Divorced."

"Recently?"

"A year ago. I moved here so she could have the east coast."

I chuckled looking down.

"She keeps the dog and I kept my golf clubs."

My phone dinged and I got it out of my purse looking at it.

"Work?"

"Husband." I said

He nodded looking over at another table as I put my phone away.

"So obviously you and your husband have this unique marriage living apart, but doesn't it get lonely?"

"Well we do see each other when I fly over to see him now and again. Your right though it does get lonely."

I looked down at the table feeling his hand touch mine. I looked over at him seeing him smile.

"I am glad you are here with me tonight."

I nodded smiling at him. I came home late hearing my computer beeping which meant Grissom was online. I walked over sitting down getting on entering Skype and he showed up wearing a blue shirt looking handsome and tired.

"Hey." He said

"Hey."

He looked at my outfit seeing I was wearing his favorite black dress.

"Did you get all dressed up for me?"

"No, I went out."

"You went out with Catherine?"

"No." I said "Just out."

"I see." He said "How's work?"

"Good." I said

He nodded hearing my phone ding I picked it up looking at it smiling then I put it down looking at him.

"So who was that?"

I sighed looking down.

"I went to dinner with a man named John Bailey tonight. He just texted me saying he had a wonderful evening."

"You went out….on a date?"

"No, it was just a dinner."

He eyed me in silence.

"Who is he?"

"I don't know much about him. We met at the lab and he asked me out."

"On a date?"

"No, for dinner."

"How is that not a date?"

I rubbed my head looking at him.

"Look, you have nothing to worry about."

"Don't I?" He asked, looking at me.

"I have to go to bed."

"Sara, I will always trust you, but I think you are treading into dangerous waters." He said "Goodnight."

"Bye."

The screen went black as I put my head down on the desk. I felt bad because I knew I hurt Grissom. The next shift I worked quietly. A knock on the door made me jump as I saw John smiling in at me. I snapped my gloves off and walked over opening door.

"Hey." I said

"So how are you?"

"Great, I had fun last night."

"Me to." He said "Want to do it again?"

"I shouldn't."

"Oh, did your husband not like it?"

"He didn't take it well. I told him it was just a dinner, but I hurt his feelings."

"I'm sorry." He said, reaching over touching my arm.

"No, it's okay."

"Well I should let you get back to work." He said, leaning over kissing my cheek. I closed my eyes feeling his lips linger against my skin. He moved back smiling at me then he walked away. I watched him go confused.

I laid in bed after shift exhausted, but my mind was alert. I stared at the laptop lying where Grissom would be lying if he were there. The screen came on making the room light up as it dinged. I pushed the button and Grissom popped up.

"Hello dear." He said

I smiled moving my head closer.

"Hello."

"You look cozy." He said

"I wish you were here."

"Me to." He said

"Really?"

"I was worried about you today." He said, as he lifted up a black mug to drink from.

"I am sorry."

"Me to, and I have something to say. I am taking a vacation and coming to stay with you."

I sat up excited.

"Grissom is coming back!"

"Hold your applause. I am coming back to talk about where we are going."

"Oh."

"Sara, I think we are going stale and we need to figure out why."

"Okay." I said

The next week I didn't see John at all. Grissom came in on a Saturday at the end of the week. He laid in bed beside me looking at the ceiling as I slept against him. Moving his head he looked at me touching my hair feeling me move to look at him.

"Your awake?" I asked, putting my head down on his chest.

"I have been for a few hours."

"Mmm." I moaned

"I think we should separate for a while." He said

I opened my eyes sitting up looking down at him.

"What?"

"Not forever, just to give us some time to think."

"I don't want to separate."

"Sara, it could be good for us."

"No." I said, getting up putting on my robe. Grissom sat up watching me walk around the room.

"Honey, I know you are upset."

"Upset? I am more than upset! My husband whom I love wants to separate!"

"It was just a suggestion." He said

"I think it's more than a suggestion!"

He stood walking over to me pulling me to face him.

"Sara, when we married I didn't realize how difficult having a long distance marriage was. It has been very difficult for both of us and I know that over time we have grown….distant."

"It was not my idea."

"I know, it was mine, but now we have to face the facts."

I looked down sad. He pulled me to him hugging me.

"I will always love you, Sara, but this is not working. I want to get a divorce."

I closed my eyes at hearing the word. Grissom kissed my head sighing. I signed the divorce papers the following month taking off my ring putting it in a drawer. John and I went out a few times after, but it was not the same for me.

I stared at the computer at home wanting to speak to Grissom, but I knew I had to accept that it was over. Brass waited for me as I walked in the rain to where he was with an umbrella next to the building.

"Building's abandoned there are two female bodies inside. Looks like a murder suicide." He said

I nodded coughing as he looked at me.

"You sick?"

"No, just a cough." I said, going in. When I got back to the lab my coughing was worse. I felt hot and miserable as I went home. Lying in bed I moaned as my cell phone went off. I lifted it to my ear as I coughed. "Sidle."

"Sara, you okay?" Grissom asked

"Grissom?" I said, as I coughed more laying back down. "I'm fine."

"Catherine called telling me you were sick."

"I am not….." I said, before coughing again. "Sick!"

"I can tell."

"My head is swimming. What do you want?"

"Honey, I am worried about you."

"We are not even married anymore you can stop calling me honey."

I hung up closing my eyes throwing the phone off the bed. Tossing and turning in bed I was hot and thirsty. I tried to get up, but the room swirled around me. Later I opened my eyes seeing a shape leaning over me. Hands poked me and touched me. I shook and a blanket was put over my frail body. Water was put down my throat as a voice called out to me. I went to sleep waking when the person was touching my head again. I blinked as my vision cleared and I saw Grissom leaning over me touching my cheek.

"Sara, can you hear me?" He asked

I started coughing again feeling him raise me up against him.

"Take a deep breath." He said

I took one laying my head on his shoulder.

"I should take you to the hospital, but I decided to take care of you myself."

Closing my eyes I moved my head against his neck.

"You still have a fever."

"Grissom." I said, weakly.

"I am here Sara, and I am not leaving you."

As he sat holding my hand on the bed he knew seeing me again would make him feel that love that he felt so deeply. He regretted the divorce after he realized he was being selfish only thinking of himself when he found out about my date with another man he knew he had lost me already. Now as he sat there watching me praying that I would be okay so he could make right all the wrongs he made.

The next day I woke feeling weak. It rained outside as light came into the room. Looking around I saw that the other side of the bed had been slept on. The door opened as Grissom walked in seeing I was awake.

"Hey, I was worried you wouldn't wake up today." He said, sitting on the bed. "Your fever broke during the night."

I continued to stare at him as he took my hand in his.

"You scared me." He said

"You took care of me?"

"Yes, Catherine told me you were not answering your phone or the door so I took the redeye to get here and found you delirious with fever."

I swallowed watching him look at our hands.

"Sara, I made a mistake and I wanted to come and make it right."

"Mistake?"

"Yes, I do love you and I…just thought by divorcing me you could find the right man."

"Grissom, you were the right man."

"I know that now." He said

"Does this mean we can begin again?"

"I hope so, if you will let me?"

"I want you to come back." I said

He leaned over me kissing my lips. I felt the kiss end to soon as he moved back looking at me.

"I have some soup for you."

"I don't think I can eat."

"Just try to eat a little."

I nodded watching him leave. My heart started thumping as I thought of him coming back to me.

The next week I smiled coming down the hallway seeing John walking with Langston down the hallway. He stopped telling Langston he would follow.

"Hi, I heard you were sick."

"I am much better now." I said, looking back down the hallway.

"I am glad."

"Thank's." I said

Grissom walked over as I looked back smiling at him.

"Hello." Grissom said

"Oh….John this is my husband Gil Grissom."

"Husband?" John asked

"Yes, husband." Grissom said, shaking John's hand.

"Great to meet you." John said "Well I promised Langston I would meet the new night supervisor since he is leaving."

Grissom waved watching him go. I pulled Grissom into an empty room kissing him as he held me. He smiled when I moved back.

"I think he will be surprised to meet the supervisor." Grissom said

"I don't think surprise will be his reaction, more like uneasy."

He kissed me again then moved back touching the doorknob.

"Langston is waiting for me."

"Good seeing you back, boss." I said, saluting him.

"Don't do that."

I chuckled watching him leave knowing everything would be back to normal again.


End file.
